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| Due to... well, nothing in particular.... I've decided to get a new Blog.... I think mainly because this one was just... really random and more personal than I wanted my blog to be.... so now, my new one is my thoughts and you won't necessarily know where they came from... but i would like to think they are worth reading...
So, without further ado... my new blog http://criestoabba.blogspot.com/
Please visit and leave your thoughts... :)
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| So....I've been informed that an updating is supposedly a good thing to do.... here's the thing though....i feel like right now my life isn't all that exciting...at least nothing worth writing online......actually, i just feel like i've gotten out of writing online now....i needed it for awhile....to actually journal, it had to be on a computer....now though, since this summer really, i've gotten used to a written journal and it's so much handier...and so much more personal....I write my heart on those pages like i can't on a computer. I can see the depth of emotion in my handwriting. I know when i'm being sincere and when it's just words by the way i write. When i get frantic about an issue i can SEE it, mainly because it gets really messy....i treasure it though. I see now the purpose of journaling thoughts throughout the day and not just at a specific time daily. I understand the spiritual discipline of journaling prayer requests and joys. i finally GET that part....or at least am achieving understanding.
I went to the zoo yesterday with three of my guy friends (some pictures of me are tagged on facebook). There's some crazy looking creatures God's created and put on this earth.
This little dude has the craziest hairdo EVER but it is incredibly cool looking! How creative is our God!
So, i'm teaching one of heather's younglife kids to play guitar.....please laugh with me at this since my guitar playing skills are pretty limited to say the least.....
I went to Spanish church on saturday...that was pretty cool....i didn't understand barely anything...but i guess that's ok....it was still a good worshipful time.... :)
have you ever had one of those times when you know something is wrong but you're not sure what.....that's me right now....i can't seem to just chill....to just rest...which is annoying because it's j-term and it's supposed to be restful...i've been taking naps again and I dunno...it seems like a good idea because then i'm not as tired...but i waste so much of the day...which just...pains me....i hate wasting time....but it's such a double edged sword....
i almost feel bad for saying this but i know my audience of who reads this journal....and yes, that is all of my best guy friends....and none of them are on campus....which kills me....i mean....i know that they're where there at for a reason and i know i'm here for a reason.....but it still hurts when i realize that the guys who are my best friends are not even in the same state as i am....now, here's why i feel bad about saying this....before the school year started i prayed that i could have some good guy friends on campus.....and i've been granted that.....ryan, ryan, and zak are great friends.....the thing is....i'm always on "good behavior" when i'm around them....not that i would normally just go insane...but it's different...they're in my small group in IV and i feel like i have to model for them what christianity should be.....which i'm HORRIBLE at because obviously i can not live up to that standard....but i still feel like that's what i should be doing....which i guess is fine....to an extent.......but basically...i just miss my guys that i don't have as many barriers with....that "reveal the essence of who you are in Christ" type of friendship.....i feel like i don't have that anymore....not in person anyway....
in all actuality though....God is SO big and i am just beginning to grasp how deep and high and long and wide His love is for me. and that, my friends, is a wonderful thing.....
is that enough of an update Rob??
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| Read this, only, differently than you would normally if you know the song....It's "All I Ask of You" from Phantom of the Opera but seriously....read it.....as if it's between you and God......it makes perfect sense...and you know why it makes perfect sense...because God is the ultimate lover....God IS love....i'm overcome with His beauty and His love.....just....surrender to Him and His love.....
GOD:
No more talk of darkness
Forget these wide-eyed fears
I'm here
Nothing can harm you
My words will warm and calm you
Let me be your freedom
Let daylight dry your tears
I'm here
With you, beside you
To guard you and to guide you
YOU:
Say you love me every wakeing moment
Turn my head with talk to summertime
Say you need me with you now and always
Promise me that all you say is true
That's all I ask of you
GOD:
Let me be your shelter
Let me be your light
You're safe
No one will find you
Your fears are far behind you
YOU:
All I want is freedom
A world with no more night
And you
Always beside me
To hold me and to hide me
GOD:
Then say you'll share with me one love,
One lifetime
Let me lead you from your solitude
Say you want me
And you need me
Beside you
Anywhere you go, let me go too
That's all I ask of you
YOU:
Say you'll share with me one love
One lifetime
Say the word and I will follow you
Share each day with me,
Each night, each morning
Say you love me
GOD:
You know I do
BOTH YOU AND GOD:
Love me, that's all I ask you
Love me, that's all I ask of you | | |
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I have lost the will to learn in a school setting. To merely
talk, what’s the point? I want to go out and just do….do whatever I’m supposed
to do…whatever I can do. I’m tired of sitting and not really learning, of
listening and not caring. What has changed that this is so? I used to love
school, love learning….what’s changed? Maybe it’s the teachers or maybe the
subjects, but I don’t know….maybe it’s because I’ve found other ways to spend
my time, maybe it’s because that stuff that I’ve found to do seems so much more
worth while. Yet somehow I must still be here, in school, going through motions
so that one day I man…”live”. We are living NOW though….life doesn’t stop for
work and school….God’s given me this moment and I’m not guaranteed the next. So
why am I sitting in a classroom listening to a teacher drone on, reading about
a make-believe life….whatever I do on a normal day…I spend my time on such
worthless things…I can’t seem to think of how to spend all my moments wisely
without exhausting myself. Maybe that is what I’m missing, why I feel lonely.
At camp, everything, every part of every day, it was ministry…either to others
or others were ministering to me….or at the same time. Do I miss that and is
that why I’m lonely? I’m not going to deny I’m lonely…to do that would be
denying a lot of what I’m feeling right now. I miss being in a community that
is so encouraging, so ripe for people to grow closer to God…but is this the
reason I feel so lonely? I don’t even know how this loneliness is different
than any other loneliness than I’ve ever felt. I know it’s different
though….and it’s different because this time, it’s not a loneliness for God but
for people…I want deeper relationships in my life but that seems to not be in
the plan for right now….or so it seems to me….
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| So, I read this on my friend Cindy's xanga and it's just....so cool how God works....considering that Sandra just this past monday had a transperency of this painting and asked if somehow we could incorporate it into worship....i think this essay just gave an idea....How AWESOME is our Heavenly Father!!!!!!
The Father Who Runs Jill Carattini
The
massive Rembrandt measures over eight and a half feet tall and six and
a half feet wide, compelling viewers with a larger than life scene. The
Return of the Prodigal Son hangs on the walls of the St. Petersburg
Hermitage Museum depicting Christian mercy, according to one curator,
as if it were Rembrandt's last "spiritual testament to the world."
Fittingly, it is one of the last paintings the artist ever completed
and remains one of his most loved works.
The painting depicts
the reunion of the wayward son and the waiting father as told in the
Gospel of Luke. The elderly father is shown leaning in an embrace of
his kneeling son in ragged shoes and torn clothes. With his back toward
us, the son faces the father, his head bowed in regret. Clearly, it is
the father Rembrandt wants us most to see. The aged man reaches out
with both hands, his eyes on the son, his entire body inclining toward
him.
It is understandable that viewers have spent hours
looking at this solemn reflection of mercy and homecoming. The artist
slows our restless minds to a scene where the parable's characters are
powerfully at rest. The kneeling son leans silently toward the father;
the father calmly and tenderly leans toward the son. But in fact, this
is far from the scene Jesus portrays in the parable itself.
The
parable of the prodigal son is far from restful, and the father within
it is anything but calm in his embrace of the wayward son. Jesus tells
us that while the son was "still a long way off," the father saw him
and "was filled with compassion for him" (Luke 15:20). Literally, this
father was moved by his compassion. The Greek word conveys an inward
movement of concern and mercy, but this man was also clearly moved
outwardly. The text is full of dramatic action. The father runs to the
son, embraces him (literally, "falls upon his neck"), and kisses him.
Unlike the depiction of Rembrandt, Jesus describes a scene far more
abrupt and shocking. It is not the son who we find kneeling in this
picture, but the father. The characters are not at rest but in radical
motion. The father who runs to his wayward son runs without any
assurance of repentance; he runs without any promise that the son is
even home to stay.
There is a line in Jewish tradition that
would likely have entered the minds of the first hearers of this
parable. According to ancient thought, the manner of a man's walk
"shows what he is."(1) Dignified men in this ancient culture simply did
not run. In order to do so, long robes would have had to be lifted up,
exposing the legs, which was inherently shameful. And yet, this father
runs to the son who blatantly disrespected him, and hurriedly embraces
the one who once disowned him. This man's "walk" shows a substance that
is nothing less than staggering. All measures of decorum, all levels of
expectation are simply shattered by this father's love. It would no
doubt have been a disruptive picture for the audience who first heard
the parable; it remains a disruptive picture today.
The
portrait Jesus offers of our Father in heaven is one of action and
immediacy. The image of any father running to meet the child who had
made a mess of her life is compelling. But that it was so outlandish in
this ancient context makes this depiction of his love all the more
stirring. It brings to the forefront an image of God as one who is
willing to embrace shame on our account. It brings to mind the image of
a Son who endured the cross, scorning its shame, that we would not grow
weary and lose heart.
God is moving toward us with a walk that
thoroughly counters any thought of a distant and absent Father and
boldly confronts any move away from Him. In his radical approach of our
hearts, the Father reveals who He is. However far we wander, the God
who laments even one lost soul is waiting and ready for our return.
More than this, He is the Father who runs to close the distance.
Jill Carattini is senior associate writer at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia. | | |
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